The Presumptous Witch of Doom

  • student:can i borrow a pencil
  • teacher:i don't know, CAN you?
  • student:yes, also colloquial irregularities occur frequently in any language and since you and the rest of our present company understood my intended meaning, being particular about the distinctions between "can" and "may" is purely pedantic and arguably pretentious

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them.

On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Douglas Adams

this quote was literally in my sociology book 

(via marinashutup)


ryan-aniki:

shapeshiftandtrick:

how does one tell a boy that one likes him

I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:

  1. text them and start playing one of those 20q games
  2. if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
  3. if they ask “You like anyone?”
     reply Yeah, you.
  4. If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”

(Source: makisekurisus)